As born-again Christians, we should keep in mind that the word Christian indicates that we are followers of Jesus Christ. If our behavior in male/female relationships is the same as those who follow the norms of society, we only bring a reproach on the Word of God. People in the world are watching us, and they should see us conducting our lives as true followers of Jesus Christ. We can’t simply talk the talk. We must walk the walk by obeying the Word of God in every area of life.
When it comes to dating between Christian men and women, we cannot mimic the dating relationships of the unsaved. As Believers, our goal should be to establish friendships with those of the opposite sex, not to fulfill selfish desires. If we skip the friendship stage and get involved in worldly, manipulative games, we will end up with a string of broken relationships, unnecessary pain, regrets, and plenty of wasted time.
There is a way to date in a godly manner. Here are a few practical dating guidelines that are taken from “The Successful Family”, written by Creflo and Taffi Dollar. By following these guidelines, you will be able to establish and maintain godly character while dating.
1. Establish and maintain a friendship! A healthy “romantic” relationship can only be built on the firm foundation of friendship. This allows you to communicate and enjoy each other’s company without any pressure. Therefore, make it clear from the beginning that you want this time to be spent forming a friendship and that you are not looking for a deeper commitment at present.
2. Don’t send the wrong message! You have a responsibility to the person you are dating. Be honest and mindful of his or her feelings. Don’t send mixed messages or try to manipulate him/her into a relationship neither of you are ready for.
3. Avoid flirting or dropping hints about your romantic feelings, and do not become too familiar too soon by using pet names.
4. Ladies, do not pursue the man. Allow him to pursue you.
5. Set boundaries! Avoid spending too much time alone, especially at night. Plan your dates during the day or early evening.
6. Be selective when watching movies and listening to music. Avoid going to R-rated movies that have a lot of lovemaking scenes.
7. Be careful not to indulge in heavy kissing and petting. These actions are forms of foreplay that lower your guard and eventually lead to sexual intercourse. Reserve passion and all intimate acts for the marriage relationship. In doing so, you build excitement and anticipation for your honeymoon night.
8. Watch and wait. Watch the individual closely for character flaws. Pray for direction, and then wait on God to give you peace and the plan you should implement to move forward.
With a little preparation and creativity, Christian dating can be exciting and fun-filled, without the added pressure to fall into sexual sin. The dating process should simply be a time in which two people of the opposite sex go out and enjoy each other’s company, while learning about each other. In other words, dating is for the purpose of collecting data. The more information you gather, without becoming emotionally involved, the better chance you will have at making the right decision when choosing a mate.
Be sure to check the Arts and Entertainment section in your local newspaper to find some really fun and safe events around town to attend. Have fun!
"Kissing Worldly Dating Goodbye"
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We are constantly bombarded with images of one-night stands and the endless pursuit of Mr. or Ms. Right. This worldly mindset of dating often results in heartache and depression. However, the Word of God has a better plan. In this revolutionary series, Kissing Worldly Dating Goodbye, Taffi L. Dollar shares essential facts about the effects of casual dating and how consulting God first results in the development of lifelong friendships and contentment as a single person. If you've been looking for a mate or know someone who has, this series is for you!
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